Divorce is not admitting that marriage was a mistake

Mention of divorce on a “Christian” website. That doesn’t seem right.

However, it happens. Divorce does, anyway. And I’m about to walk through that door. For the second time in my life.

What does ‘divorce’ say in the this day and age? Is it code word for ‘mistake’? I don’t think so. A mistake is: not crossing your ‘t’s’ in handwriting. Or forgetting a period in a written sentence. A mistake is not a 2,5, 18, or 45 year part of your journey.

Divorce does not signal that a mistake has happened. Because no one lives 1.5 years in a ‘mistake’, or 18 years (as in my first marriage), or 45 years in some instances. That’s not a mistake.

It’s simply part of the journey.

Validate the journey

When you remove the stigma of a “mistake”, you validate the leg of the journey that you are on. You validate the growth and any setbacks, and you validate the highs, as well as the lows. The emotions involved in the journey are seen as legitimate, and decisions are seen as necessary.

A mistake can be erased, deleted, corrected, etc. This leg of life’s journey, cannot. Everything going forward has been affected by the memories, skills and lessons learned (or not), and the consequences of the actions involved in a marriage that is being severed.

To call any marriage a mistake would be to degrade the institution of marriage. Even those who do immediate Vegas type spur-the-moment marriages take part in a sacred rite and institution. Marriage is still marriage and includes these experiences in a type of bell curve.

The spectrum of experience across what we call “marriage” is valid and should not be disregarded or ever spoken of in words like “mistake.”

Divorce is part of the fallen world

We need to remember that we are not omniscient and can not see the future. Thus decisions that are made, and relationships that occur on our road to the end of this earthly life, for the most part, do not need to carry shame with them.

There is no shame in divorce. Not in Christ Jesus. And not in the context of living in a fallen world.

Divorce is part of the fallen world. Where we currently live.

Unless we’ve died and gone to Heaven without knowing it, we’re going to experience divorce, a good number of us are.

Who are we to judge others or ourselves?

Grace and peace to those of us who are, and those of us who aren’t.